Senior Thesis: Reliquary

My senior thesis project was something that I had been fearing and looking forward to for a very long time.  It was my time to show what I was made of: to go bigger than I had ever gone before, to work harder, create more, give more, and to in all ways create a series that was better than anything I had created before.  I like to think that I reached my goal. 

After creating my original body of work, Woman of Folklore, I decided I hadn't pushed myself enough.  I made the costumes, the lighting was great, my idea was clear, and I had a message; but it just wasn't good enough.  It wasn't deep enough.  You could see that my heart wasn't in it.  I had to start again. 

Then I saw the book Heavenly Bodies by Paul Koudounaris, and fell in love.  It was everything I loved in my art: the dichotomy of beauty and fear.  But not only were the images terrifying and awe inspiring, they inspired something that had been growing in me for quite sometime: the question of Christianity.  

The reality of christianity and the undeniable truth that some see in the bible has been something that has cast confusion and doubt on my heart for many years.  I have never seen this all loving God.  How have you?  With all the things wrong in this world, how can you believe in an over arching God who knows everything; knows the terror that happens in this world, and still believe he loves us?

I know I am not alone in these questions,and it is my hope that everyone-from christians to atheists- considers these things as well.

Artist Statement

Fate 

I started the series with Fate.  Do we control our own destiny, or is it predetermined?  The red string is from an asian myth of how those who are destined to meet are bound together by a red string.  The candles are for prayer: one common way to send a prayer is to light a candle, and what does one pray for more than to change their fate?

I hand beaded/painted the dress to mimic the heavily 

beaded bones and clothing of the catacomb saints.

Another inspiration for this series was the byzantine icons.  Icons were sacred images of Christ, the Virgin, or Saints, and allowed for direct contact with the sacred figure.  This allowed a direct route for prayer from person, to saint, to God.  

If one made donations to the catacomb saints, they could 

acquire indulgences, or "passes" into heaven.

Death

Death is something that awaits us all, but for some, it comes too soon.  Why are we faced with natural disasters, deadly environments, and disease? Why do these things befall the innocent and good hearted?

Later in their careers, the catacomb saints were covered with veils in an attempt to make them more pleasing to the public, who had begun to withdraw with fear. 

In the victorian times, it was common to photograph the bodies of loved ones who had passed.  It was often the only photo a family would have of the deceased.  One of the most common ways to recognize one of these photos is the unnatural positioning and blackening of the hands.  Stands were often used to help support the arms and head of the deceased to acquire a lifelike photo.  

Soul

How does one determine the goodness of their soul?  One tries to be good at heart, but how do you know if your soul will go to heaven or hell?  How do we know these places exist?  Perhaps there is nothing after ones passing.  

To represent the soul, I went with the theme of baptism, as one is unable to ascend to heaven if they are not baptized.  

In my hands I hold holy water, and it over flows with the questions of it's importance.

Creation

                                      

 With the evidence of evolution, it is hard to accept that the earth was made in 7 days by an all powerful God.    

The first thing God created was light, which is symbolized by the light in my hands.  The helmet is meant to mimic a form of Frankentstein's monster: something brought to life without God. 

This image was done in a single, long exposure with two flashes.  First, the flash in my hands was fired, then the studio strobes were fired. In the above out take, one can see where my eyes shifted in between flashes.

War

War was one of the most obvious and most difficult to shoot.  There are so many casualties to war.  It destroys our families, our humanity, and our earth.  And yet war is all around us, in our past, in our future, and even fought in Gods name.  However, finding symbolism for war beyond the simple blood and weaponry was near impossible. 

 Soldiers who were thought to die for christianity in Rome were dressed in armor and given swords. 

I gave myself more skeletal makeup in this photo to strike fear in the viewers.  War is not something that can be glamorized, it is raw and harsh.  I avoided the gold and jewels that are seen in the others in favor of a more simple look.  

The Opening

Overall the experience was truly gratifying.  I had such lovely helpers, Marissa and Holly, as well as the ever supportive, James.  I would not have been able to complete such awesome work without your help!  And also a large thank you to everyone who came to my opening!  It was so wonderful to have you all there to support me.  I was beyond excited to see each and everyone of you.  

And to answer your question: So what have you decided in regards to religion?  I have come to a new understanding, but I am no closer in believing or not believing, I have only learned of new hurdles I must cross to find my way.